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So, what exactly do you want?

I went for a braai (BBQ) at a friend’s house a few weekends back, it is always a joyful occasion in South Africa; kids playing in the pool after having watermelon dripping all over them… a wood fire crackling in background while the parents play cards or throw darts… and basically just having a good time, filled with joy and laughter.
The braai was at a brother in Christ house, along with my other brother in Christ… we are dubbed by the name “Abishai Brothers”… when you have time go read up how Abishai saved King David’s life against a giant, similar to Goliath, in 2 Samuel 21:15-17. If you don’t have an Abishai, ask God to give you one… brothers that have your back no matter what, with spiritual and emotional support. You absolutely need Spiritual family that can support you, and grow with you.
These are the same friends I meet with once a week for prayer, and we are really blessed by having the Holy Spirit part of our gatherings… 2 weeks ago we were still busy in a discussion and all of a sudden there was an immediate silence, as if in one accord we could sense God is standing with us, trembling in awe of His welcoming presence.

After our meal the conversation became Jesus centered, with soft worship music playing in the background, again a sudden silence came upon us… I personally started shivering, holding back tears as I knew God is watching down into the room, He was there, He always is, but this was one of those special moments… His tangible presence could be sensed.
I am not sure how long we sat in silence, savoring His presence, when I heard the words “What exactly do you want?”; I repeated this question and posed it to my brothers… I could, because I know their “What’s your story.” I know where they come from, I know what they went through… I know their past, I know their present… so, “What do you want in your future?”
There is no right or wrong answer to this… however I asked the question as if I knew exactly what I wanted… both my brothers shared their heart’s desires after a few minutes of thinking about it… when they posed the question to me, I couldn’t answer it… I know what I want in the natural realm… I mean I know how badly I want to get married again, walking into an empty home 7 days a week is not so nice, having yourself to chat to about your day is not cool, and not too mention when you get into an argument with yourself, that is something to experience; I want another daughter, I miss having my princess with me everyday; I want to be financially independent from an employer… I read a blog post a while ago with a theme of “Your priorities are in your seeking.” Look at what you seek, how badly you seek it, and what you will do to find it… that is most likely where your priority is; thinking of this, this should have been my answer… back tracking the detail.

A week later the one brother told me “You know, I asked myself the same question a few times in the last week, I did answer you that night, but the more I ask myself the question, the less I can answer it.” This brother is 120% into seeking God and His fullness, every single conversation with him is revolving around the Kingdom.


It is a question worth asking, if anything you do with this blog is to only seek your answer to this question, then please do it. Devote some private time… “What exactly do I want?” Take a week, write it down… and for best results let the Holy Spirit lead you in it.



‘ Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires and secret petitions of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord [roll and repose each care of your load on Him]; trust (lean on, rely on, and be confident) also in Him and He will bring it to pass. And He will make your uprightness and right standing with God go forth as the light, and your justice and right as [the shining sun of] the noonday. Be still and rest in the Lord; wait for Him and patiently lean yourself upon Him; fret not yourself because of him who prospers in his way, because of the man who brings wicked devices to pass.’
Psalm 37:4-7

This scripture is sooo beautiful, do we really understand it though? If we link Matthew 6:33 (Seek first all His Kingdom and His Righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you). FIRST SEEK… The priority is in the seeking…? OH YES IT IS!!!!
If you seek His Kingdom (understanding that a kingdom is not a kingdom without a King, with royal power and authority, so this seeking is not a place, but a Person, a King… Our King, Our God) and you seek His Righteousness (a condition acceptable to God, referring to a state of moral character of integrity, virtue, purity of life, rightness, correctness of thinking, feeling, and acting) these things (by default), earthly short lived “desires”, will be added unto you.”
This gives me another understanding of Ps 37:4-7… the giving of these desires is not referring to that Porsche you so badly want to stroke your ego, it is not referring to that mansion on the hill you want to show everyone that you’ve made it… I am saying this with all humility, as I know the pleas are most likely for food on the table, with thoughts of peace and not of evil, to have a future and a hope as God tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 … but my friend this follows by “Because you will seek Me, and you will find Me” in Jeremiah 29:12-14.
The giving of these desires is not physically giving you these desires, it is planting and aligning your desires with God’s will for you, He aligns your character and desires with His desires for You… AND I CAN TELL YOU NOW, YOU ARE SHOOTING LOW, BECAUSE HIS THOUGHTS ARE HIGHER THAN YOUR THOUGHTS, HIS WAYS ARE HIGHER THAN YOUR WAYS. He plants the desires…
Getting to a point of being content, a point where these material things simply don’t matter, and know that God will provide for what or who He has called, and He will protect His called… anything extra is a bonus, and if you are at this point you will sow the “bonus” back into the Kingdom, because anything else simply doesn’t matter.

Some food for thought before signing out… ‘And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.’ John 14:13-14

“What’s in the name?” Throughout the Bible “NAMES” had significance, God changed names when the person’s character or calling changed or matured… the name is linked to the character, the name showed the persons character or calling… Can it be? Think about it… “Whatever you ask, being in My Character, I will do.”

Our true identity, which is found in Christ, this is at the top of God’s priority… The whole creation is waiting in anticipation for us to come to the realization.

One response to “So, what exactly do you want?”

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