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When words fall short

I was never a reader, nor enjoyed writing. I don’t know how I passed my 12 years of school without failing one subject or exam. I never did homework and I cannot recall me ever studying for an exam… A lot has changed in the last 2 years, I would personally not have recognized myself if the current “Me” had to meet the “Me” of 3 years back, even worst 10 years back, not to think 20 years back. I have read more books in the last 2 years in comparison to the combined 40 years prior, at times I read more than one book at a time.

My WordPress account renewed this month; it has now been running for 24 months. In the last 24 months I have posted 68 posts with a total word count of over 61,000 words, not to mention the +45 “Parked Posts”, info that turned into revelation and still in progress, when another takes priority… I quite often revisit the PARKED posts, and amazingly, it more often than not compliments the season I am in at that moment, it is as if the Holy Spirit prepared it in advance, waiting for that penny to drop in the season I am ready to receive and apply it.
To date the posts have reached just under 4000 people in over 40 countries… Glory to God for technology.
I have gone from basically no reading and writing to loving it so much that it almost consumes all of my time.

My initial posts started with “hurt” and how I dealt with it. During the 24 months I reconnected with an old friend, and I met a new friend, they are now my brothers, during this time my relationship with God grew rapidly, and the posts started being directed into Godly conversations and the revelations of the late nights of seeking to fill our hunger with these brothers. The “Abishai Brothers” were born after another late night of “hunger” filled with spiritual food.
One late night I had a discussion with one of these brothers, it revolved around “Big Brothers” (Groot Boeties), how we all need Spiritual “Big Brothers” and a vision was laid on our hearts that night… We started doing “Home visits” to old friends, to initiate the vision of “Big Brothers” … and we realized the lack of support out there, even more how people just need someone to listen… these home visits had us starting a Home Cell group, and glory to God it is growing.

When words fall short, listen… just listen.
God has really blessed me with a listening heart, it is amazing how people spill their “beans” to me without me asking about it (if you are one of them, be rest assured your beans are safely swept up and won’t be spilt elsewhere), and how people so desperately want someone to listen. I can recall the one night I went to visit an old friend and he asked me “What’s your story? What happened in your life the past 10 years?” As I started to tell my story and where I found myself in the last few years it just faded away in conversation and I knew I had to shut my mouth about “ME”, it happens quite often. I have, the privilege to minister to various people at this point in time by “Listening”, from people at work to old school friends and new found friends, and every single time I want to share something about me the people’s mind and attention just wonders off, with a vague look of “Please just listen,” so I do just that… I listen, and I honestly don’t feel offended at all, I am called to Listen and Listen I will Listen, not hear with the ear, but listen with the heart; most of the times my physical words fall short when I want to respond; but the Holy Spirit will show me what to pray for over these “brothers and sisters” in Christ.

So, I think I have proven that I like “words”, whether it be reading, writing or listening to it, in actual fact, it took me now exactly 708 words to get this point.
I do however struggle to physically speak my “MIND”, very few people know this about me, but I had a very bad stutter in my younger years… I especially struggled with the letters “D” & “B”… If the words started with these letters, I could not get it out of my mouth, and my name starts with a “D”, imagine that. My daughter always makes fun of the situation when we talk about my stuttering of a few years back… She cracks herself up every single time.
“What is your name!!!?”
“My name is D-D-D-D-Daaaaawie, Sir”
“Is that Dawie with one D or five D’s!!!?”
LOL… so my words do fall short often, especially publicly.

Earlier this week I had a friend come for coffee at work and he briefly told me about the awesome Sunday night service they had at church, I go to this same church at least once a month, it is AWESOME, the praise and worship is on fire and the WORD brought is goooood fooood for the soul, every single time.
The same night I had a WhatsApp conversation with a lady friend of this same church, it blew my mind, I have not seen her for almost 3 weeks, but that we are experiencing exactly the same things in the spirit, it was almost like I spoke to myself, as I wanted to say something she repeated similar words to what I was busy typing.
I asked her about the Sunday night message and she told me “I cannot explain it, I wish I could but you need to experience it.”
This freaked me out even more, because I am busy studying something in the bible that makes perfect sense to me in my mind and thoughts, to such an extent that I spend every second of the day outside of human interaction meditating on it; seeking deeper understanding to apply it, but for the life of me, it feels like I am back in my stuttering phase, because as soon as I try to utter words to explain it, it just doesn’t come out correctly, it sounds like I am waffling, it just doesn’t make any sense when I try to translate my mind… I have been trying to write about it for a few weeks now, but every night I delete whatever I wrote, it has gone as far as the posts heading to be “CTRL+ALT+DEL.”

This made me think of the deaf man Jesus healed, and Jesus told him not to tell anyone. It is possibly because Jesus’ travels would have been restricted due to some people not believing in Him and not allow Him into cities if they knew He was in and around the area… for me it means that somethings are meant to be shared, and some things are not… Somethings are meant to remain personal, and somethings are meant to be shared publicly. Somethings are meant to be EXPERIENCED and it will most likely remain at a personal experience, because our relationship with God is personal.

In my previous post I wrote about Distorted Love, or actually asked about LOVE, true LOVE. I asked to define God… it is impossible to try and define God, no words will even come close to try and explain who God is and what His majesty is all about.

Ephesians 3:17-18 in the Amplified classic says it so beautifully “May Christ through your faith actually dwell; settle down, abide, and make His permanent home in your hearts! May you be rooted deep in love and founded securely on love, that you may have the power and be strong to apprehend and grasp with all the saints the experience of that love, what is the breadth and length and height and depth of it’

One can simply not try and explain His Love, Peace and Rest, words will fall short every single time, no word or blog post will ever come close to it… I can do my best to try and dig really very deep to find words for it, but the only way to have it explained to you is to personally experience it…

Your capacity is in the Knowledge and Wisdom of Him… the more you get to know Him, the more you will experience Him.

Don’t ever stop seeking!!!!

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